A New Lease on Life
A little over five years ago, I said to myself, "Alvin Glorf, it's high time for you to shift your gears and gain a new lease on life." I said this to myself because I had lately noticed that my old lease on life, while still serviceable, was looking decidedly threadbare. Actually, it was never a particularly fashionable lease on life, even when it was brand new. It had been marked down when I purchased it, on sale, at less than half the regular price.
I knew, and I accepted, that if I was to gain a new lease on life, it would, unfortunately, be necessary to exchange my wife, Martha, and my two children, Harlan and Beatrice, for a new wife and new children. I figured that, when a man is faced with such a choice, a man must do what a man must do. Martha was reasonably understanding about the situation, but Harlan and Beatrice were somewhat perplexed. Still, it had to be done, so I did it. (To be perfectly honest, I never liked the children anyway.)
At ten o'clock on the morning of the day on which my new lease on life was scheduled to commence, I bid farewell to Martha, Harlan, and Beatrice, and cheerfully took delivery of a new wife, Ermintrude, and two new children, Casper and Heloise. All in all, it seemed a promising start for my new lease on life, and I was eager to begin. After I got to know them and they got to know me, we all settled into a pleasant condition of domestic happiness. With a new lease on life, and the new wife and new children that came with it, I became a new man.
Soon, I found that everything was going my way. My new lease on life brought a host of daily blessings. Ermintrude turned out to be a perfect wife. Casper and Heloise turned out to be perfect children. I turned out, much to my own surprise, to be both a perfect husband and a perfect father. Together, the four of us enjoyed a perfect life. (Which, I am compelled to say, was not always the case with Martha, Harlan, and Beatrice.)
Although things have gone swimmingly during the past five years, I do have doubts regarding the stability of my current setup. Yesterday, Ermintrude suddenly informed me that she and the children, having discussed it thoroughly, are now fully determined to gain a new lease on life for themselves, and she strongly implied that I would not be included. I was a bit taken aback by this revelation, but I probably should have seen it coming.
I knew, and I accepted, that if I was to gain a new lease on life, it would, unfortunately, be necessary to exchange my wife, Martha, and my two children, Harlan and Beatrice, for a new wife and new children. I figured that, when a man is faced with such a choice, a man must do what a man must do. Martha was reasonably understanding about the situation, but Harlan and Beatrice were somewhat perplexed. Still, it had to be done, so I did it. (To be perfectly honest, I never liked the children anyway.)
At ten o'clock on the morning of the day on which my new lease on life was scheduled to commence, I bid farewell to Martha, Harlan, and Beatrice, and cheerfully took delivery of a new wife, Ermintrude, and two new children, Casper and Heloise. All in all, it seemed a promising start for my new lease on life, and I was eager to begin. After I got to know them and they got to know me, we all settled into a pleasant condition of domestic happiness. With a new lease on life, and the new wife and new children that came with it, I became a new man.
Soon, I found that everything was going my way. My new lease on life brought a host of daily blessings. Ermintrude turned out to be a perfect wife. Casper and Heloise turned out to be perfect children. I turned out, much to my own surprise, to be both a perfect husband and a perfect father. Together, the four of us enjoyed a perfect life. (Which, I am compelled to say, was not always the case with Martha, Harlan, and Beatrice.)
Although things have gone swimmingly during the past five years, I do have doubts regarding the stability of my current setup. Yesterday, Ermintrude suddenly informed me that she and the children, having discussed it thoroughly, are now fully determined to gain a new lease on life for themselves, and she strongly implied that I would not be included. I was a bit taken aback by this revelation, but I probably should have seen it coming.