Quisby Frembling Makes a Big Fuss About Himself
Many men are in the habit of making an excessive fuss about themselves, continually announcing their aims, intentions, and desires to all and sundry, while other men are inclined to be less forceful, preferring to make their way through the world in a more quiet manner. Quisby Frembling was, and always had been, one of the quiet sort.
Quisby kept to himself, never seeking the limelight. He lived so quietly that, most of the time, those around him did not even know that he was there. A small annuity, bequeathed to Quisby by a distant relation (on his mother's side) in the Outer Hebrides whom he had never met, allowed him to dwell in a small house on a quiet street, where he spent most of his days tending to a small garden.
Whenever Quisby had to speak to a woman, his extreme reserve would get the better of him. As a confirmed bachelor with little experience of women and their charms, he was, to put it mildly, at something of a loss in regard to the rules of romance. (Although once, when he was young and briefly in high spirits, he had winked at a girl who caught his fancy.)
It seemed that Quisby was fated to remain, quietly and eternally, within the safe, narrow bounds of his shyness. His situation soon began to change, however, when Adelaide Blupp, a former actress who had been a major star in Hollywood before she suddenly (and without even a single word of explanation to her millions of fans) turned her back on fame and all its shallow trappings, moved into the house next door.
One afternoon, as Quisby was puttering away in his garden, he chanced to look over a low fence and catch a glimpse of Adelaide, who was puttering away in her own garden. Quisby instantly was aware of a new, exciting feeling within himself: he had fallen in love with Adelaide at first sight, an unprecedented happening in his quiet life, and one that would, in due course, have a profound effect on him.
Quisby, filled with the ardent power of overwhelming love, was giddily impelled to take bold action. He believed that only the strongest measures would succeed in gaining favorable notice from the object of his affection. It would, he concluded, be necessary for him to make a big fuss about himself. Therefore, he resolved to deliver, with his own hands, two dozen roses (after deciding that one dozen would not be sufficient) to Adelaide's front door.
"Fair lady, I humbly throw myself at your feet!" Quisby said, giving the two dozen roses to Adelaide and throwing himself at her feet.
"Uh, do I know you?" Adelaide asked, gingerly holding the roses and looking down at Quisby's prostrate form.
"Not yet, perhaps," Quisby replied, "but I harbor an earnest wish that soon you shall indeed know me, and consent to become my wife."
"Well, whoever you are, thank you for the roses," Adelaide said, as she hurriedly closed the door in Quisby's face.
Quisby, having already concluded that if he truly desired to gain favorable notice from Adelaide, it would be necessary for him to make a big fuss about himself, now concluded that it would be necessary for him to make an even bigger fuss. He could see that anything less than the most fearless gestures would never suit his heartfelt purpose.
Accordingly, Quisby resorted to the most fearless gestures that he could devise. He arranged for an elephant, with a sign bearing the words, "Adelaide, please be mine," balanced on its back, to walk past Adelaide's house. He employed the talents of twenty Italian tenors to sing famous arias of love and longing to Adelaide. He hired a pilot to fly an airplane overhead and skywrite, for everyone to see, "Quisby Frembling loves Adelaide Blupp."
In spite of Quisby’s determined attempts to make an impression on Adelaide, she still appeared to have no interest in him, so Quisby rashly concluded that it would be necessary for him to make the biggest conceivable fuss about himself. He borrowed a multistage rocket and blasted himself into space, and, while floating above the earth, transmitted a live broadcast on worldwide television, in which he proclaimed his fervent love for Adelaide.
When Quisby returned to earth, he knocked on Adelaide's front door and sought her response to his latest declaration of love, only to find, to his utmost despair, that she rarely watched television and had not seen his broadcast. Quisby started to feel that his plight was hopeless, until Adelaide happened to ask him for a favor.
"Since you are here, sir, could I prevail upon you to change the light bulb in the fixture on the ceiling of my kitchen?" Adelaide asked. "It's a bit too high for me to reach, and I don't have a stepladder."
"My dearest flower of womanly perfection, I am pleased to be at your service," Quisby replied. "Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to be of even the slightest assistance to you."
After Quisby had put a new light bulb in the fixture on the ceiling, he and Adelaide fell into an easy conversation, and he learned that she did not like men who made a big fuss about themselves, having had her fill of such men during her years in Hollywood. Instead, she had a fondness for quiet men, particularly those who were skilled at changing light bulbs. Within a few moments, she had fallen madly in love with Quisby and had agreed to marry him.
"Quisby Frembling, you are the man of my dreams," Adelaide said.
"Adelaide Blupp, you are the only woman for me," Quisby said.
Thus it was that Quisby and Adelaide finally found happiness with each other. They were married shortly after, and lived together quietly, never seeking the limelight or making a big fuss about themselves. Adelaide always knew that if she was unable to reach high enough to change a light bulb in a fixture on the ceiling, she could rely on Quisby to change it.
Quisby kept to himself, never seeking the limelight. He lived so quietly that, most of the time, those around him did not even know that he was there. A small annuity, bequeathed to Quisby by a distant relation (on his mother's side) in the Outer Hebrides whom he had never met, allowed him to dwell in a small house on a quiet street, where he spent most of his days tending to a small garden.
Whenever Quisby had to speak to a woman, his extreme reserve would get the better of him. As a confirmed bachelor with little experience of women and their charms, he was, to put it mildly, at something of a loss in regard to the rules of romance. (Although once, when he was young and briefly in high spirits, he had winked at a girl who caught his fancy.)
It seemed that Quisby was fated to remain, quietly and eternally, within the safe, narrow bounds of his shyness. His situation soon began to change, however, when Adelaide Blupp, a former actress who had been a major star in Hollywood before she suddenly (and without even a single word of explanation to her millions of fans) turned her back on fame and all its shallow trappings, moved into the house next door.
One afternoon, as Quisby was puttering away in his garden, he chanced to look over a low fence and catch a glimpse of Adelaide, who was puttering away in her own garden. Quisby instantly was aware of a new, exciting feeling within himself: he had fallen in love with Adelaide at first sight, an unprecedented happening in his quiet life, and one that would, in due course, have a profound effect on him.
Quisby, filled with the ardent power of overwhelming love, was giddily impelled to take bold action. He believed that only the strongest measures would succeed in gaining favorable notice from the object of his affection. It would, he concluded, be necessary for him to make a big fuss about himself. Therefore, he resolved to deliver, with his own hands, two dozen roses (after deciding that one dozen would not be sufficient) to Adelaide's front door.
"Fair lady, I humbly throw myself at your feet!" Quisby said, giving the two dozen roses to Adelaide and throwing himself at her feet.
"Uh, do I know you?" Adelaide asked, gingerly holding the roses and looking down at Quisby's prostrate form.
"Not yet, perhaps," Quisby replied, "but I harbor an earnest wish that soon you shall indeed know me, and consent to become my wife."
"Well, whoever you are, thank you for the roses," Adelaide said, as she hurriedly closed the door in Quisby's face.
Quisby, having already concluded that if he truly desired to gain favorable notice from Adelaide, it would be necessary for him to make a big fuss about himself, now concluded that it would be necessary for him to make an even bigger fuss. He could see that anything less than the most fearless gestures would never suit his heartfelt purpose.
Accordingly, Quisby resorted to the most fearless gestures that he could devise. He arranged for an elephant, with a sign bearing the words, "Adelaide, please be mine," balanced on its back, to walk past Adelaide's house. He employed the talents of twenty Italian tenors to sing famous arias of love and longing to Adelaide. He hired a pilot to fly an airplane overhead and skywrite, for everyone to see, "Quisby Frembling loves Adelaide Blupp."
In spite of Quisby’s determined attempts to make an impression on Adelaide, she still appeared to have no interest in him, so Quisby rashly concluded that it would be necessary for him to make the biggest conceivable fuss about himself. He borrowed a multistage rocket and blasted himself into space, and, while floating above the earth, transmitted a live broadcast on worldwide television, in which he proclaimed his fervent love for Adelaide.
When Quisby returned to earth, he knocked on Adelaide's front door and sought her response to his latest declaration of love, only to find, to his utmost despair, that she rarely watched television and had not seen his broadcast. Quisby started to feel that his plight was hopeless, until Adelaide happened to ask him for a favor.
"Since you are here, sir, could I prevail upon you to change the light bulb in the fixture on the ceiling of my kitchen?" Adelaide asked. "It's a bit too high for me to reach, and I don't have a stepladder."
"My dearest flower of womanly perfection, I am pleased to be at your service," Quisby replied. "Nothing would give me greater pleasure than to be of even the slightest assistance to you."
After Quisby had put a new light bulb in the fixture on the ceiling, he and Adelaide fell into an easy conversation, and he learned that she did not like men who made a big fuss about themselves, having had her fill of such men during her years in Hollywood. Instead, she had a fondness for quiet men, particularly those who were skilled at changing light bulbs. Within a few moments, she had fallen madly in love with Quisby and had agreed to marry him.
"Quisby Frembling, you are the man of my dreams," Adelaide said.
"Adelaide Blupp, you are the only woman for me," Quisby said.
Thus it was that Quisby and Adelaide finally found happiness with each other. They were married shortly after, and lived together quietly, never seeking the limelight or making a big fuss about themselves. Adelaide always knew that if she was unable to reach high enough to change a light bulb in a fixture on the ceiling, she could rely on Quisby to change it.