The Eternal Bachelor
Garth Frebbish was an unmarried man. He was quite happy being in an unmarried state, and he firmly intended to remain that way for the rest of his life. He had a strong interest in women, and he always had at least one eager girlfriend on hand, but he was steadfast in his solemn belief that the supposed benefits of marriage were not suitable for him. It seemed that Garth Frebbish was destined to be an eternal bachelor.
"Having a girlfriend is acceptable and pleasing, especially if she is young, beautiful, and rich, but having a wife is something else altogether," Garth frequently said. "Marriage is an oppressive institution. I refuse to surrender my freedom for any woman."
As the years passed and Garth got older, he continued to have a string of girlfriends, and he continued to enjoy each dalliance for its own sake, but he also continued to avoid any thought of submitting himself to the dismal strictures of marriage. He was determined to play the field for as long as he could, going through his life in a footloose manner, without the grim (and in his view, entirely needless) burden of a spouse. He was utterly committed to the experience of bachelorhood.
"I choose to resist the shackles of matrimony, and I will do so until my life has run its unbridled course," Garth stated, to anyone who would listen. "I am a free spirit, born to go my own way, at all times and in all situations, and I cannot live in chains."
When Garth was approaching the late years of middle age, he met a young woman who changed his life. Her name was Glenda Twitchett, and although she was not beautiful, and also was not rich, she did possess an iron will. Within an hour of meeting Garth (by mere chance, while buying food for her hamster), she told him, in unmistakable terms, that he was going to become her husband.
"I think not," Garth said to Glenda. "No woman shall ever take away my precious freedom. Not you, or any other woman who might happen to cross my path."
"Now listen to me, Garth Frebbish, and listen carefully," Glenda said, in a steely tone of bold assurance. "I have decided that you are going to marry me, whether you like it or not. I have chosen you to be the father of my children. You do not have any choice in the matter. My mind is thoroughly made up, and once my mind is made up, I always get what I want."
Garth knew that he was beaten. The force of Glenda's iron will was much too powerful to be denied. As he weakly listened to the harsh sound of her adamant voice, sternly describing the unappealing particulars of their future life together (a dull, servile life that would require constant dutifulness on his part), and setting out the queasy prospect of Garth being a father with many children, he saw his freedom dissolve before his eyes. Garth Frebbish, the eternal bachelor, finally had met his match.
After ten years of marriage, Garth and Glenda had eight children, and Garth's days of singleness and happiness were gone forever. Garth was a broken man, with an unkind wife and a noisy brood of unruly offspring. He spent his idle moments, which were few, dreaming of being a monk, with no wife and no children, living a quiet life in a monastery at the top of a distant mountain.
"Having a girlfriend is acceptable and pleasing, especially if she is young, beautiful, and rich, but having a wife is something else altogether," Garth frequently said. "Marriage is an oppressive institution. I refuse to surrender my freedom for any woman."
As the years passed and Garth got older, he continued to have a string of girlfriends, and he continued to enjoy each dalliance for its own sake, but he also continued to avoid any thought of submitting himself to the dismal strictures of marriage. He was determined to play the field for as long as he could, going through his life in a footloose manner, without the grim (and in his view, entirely needless) burden of a spouse. He was utterly committed to the experience of bachelorhood.
"I choose to resist the shackles of matrimony, and I will do so until my life has run its unbridled course," Garth stated, to anyone who would listen. "I am a free spirit, born to go my own way, at all times and in all situations, and I cannot live in chains."
When Garth was approaching the late years of middle age, he met a young woman who changed his life. Her name was Glenda Twitchett, and although she was not beautiful, and also was not rich, she did possess an iron will. Within an hour of meeting Garth (by mere chance, while buying food for her hamster), she told him, in unmistakable terms, that he was going to become her husband.
"I think not," Garth said to Glenda. "No woman shall ever take away my precious freedom. Not you, or any other woman who might happen to cross my path."
"Now listen to me, Garth Frebbish, and listen carefully," Glenda said, in a steely tone of bold assurance. "I have decided that you are going to marry me, whether you like it or not. I have chosen you to be the father of my children. You do not have any choice in the matter. My mind is thoroughly made up, and once my mind is made up, I always get what I want."
Garth knew that he was beaten. The force of Glenda's iron will was much too powerful to be denied. As he weakly listened to the harsh sound of her adamant voice, sternly describing the unappealing particulars of their future life together (a dull, servile life that would require constant dutifulness on his part), and setting out the queasy prospect of Garth being a father with many children, he saw his freedom dissolve before his eyes. Garth Frebbish, the eternal bachelor, finally had met his match.
After ten years of marriage, Garth and Glenda had eight children, and Garth's days of singleness and happiness were gone forever. Garth was a broken man, with an unkind wife and a noisy brood of unruly offspring. He spent his idle moments, which were few, dreaming of being a monk, with no wife and no children, living a quiet life in a monastery at the top of a distant mountain.