The Sudden Disappearance of Thurgood Q. Fentermock
One morning in the first week of May, Mr. Thurgood Q. Fentermock put on his best suit, calmly walked out of his house, sauntered down to the end of the street, turned left at the corner, and was never seen again. Three weeks had passed before his wife, Mrs. Gertrude Fentermock, noticed that her husband of nine years was gone.
"Thurgood was always such a quiet person," Mrs. Fentermock said to her neighbor, Mrs. Wubbley. "I hardly knew that he was here, even before he disappeared."
"Yes, he certainly was a quiet one," said Mrs. Wubbley.
"Still," Mrs. Fentermock went on, "he was a good provider, I'll say that for him. That is, he was a good provider until he went away."
Thurgood was the fourth husband that Mrs. Fentermock had happened to lose in this particular manner. She tried to comfort herself with the knowledge that Thurgood had lasted considerably longer than any of the others, but having four husbands disappear in one lifetime was most worrisome. It was, she admitted to herself, becoming something of a habit.
"Perhaps I would be better off with a parakeet, rather than a husband," she said to Mrs. Wubbley.
"Yes, perhaps you would," said Mrs. Wubbley, who tended to agree with anything that anyone happened to say.
The next day Mrs. Fentermock went straight out and purchased a blue parakeet for herself. Because the bird was kept in a cage, there was no chance of it wandering off and disappearing forever. Thereafter, Mrs. Fentermock and her parakeet lived quite happily together, although she did acknowledge that the parakeet was never a good provider.
"Thurgood was always such a quiet person," Mrs. Fentermock said to her neighbor, Mrs. Wubbley. "I hardly knew that he was here, even before he disappeared."
"Yes, he certainly was a quiet one," said Mrs. Wubbley.
"Still," Mrs. Fentermock went on, "he was a good provider, I'll say that for him. That is, he was a good provider until he went away."
Thurgood was the fourth husband that Mrs. Fentermock had happened to lose in this particular manner. She tried to comfort herself with the knowledge that Thurgood had lasted considerably longer than any of the others, but having four husbands disappear in one lifetime was most worrisome. It was, she admitted to herself, becoming something of a habit.
"Perhaps I would be better off with a parakeet, rather than a husband," she said to Mrs. Wubbley.
"Yes, perhaps you would," said Mrs. Wubbley, who tended to agree with anything that anyone happened to say.
The next day Mrs. Fentermock went straight out and purchased a blue parakeet for herself. Because the bird was kept in a cage, there was no chance of it wandering off and disappearing forever. Thereafter, Mrs. Fentermock and her parakeet lived quite happily together, although she did acknowledge that the parakeet was never a good provider.