Mr. and Mrs. Freemarket Go Shopping
Mr. and Mrs. Freemarket, in common with their friends and neighbors, are happily dedicated to a life of frantic consumption.
MR. FREEMARKET: My dear, I propose that we undertake a retail expedition. Let's go shopping and buy lots of stuff!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Yes! Lots and lots of stuff!
MR. FREEMARKET: Lots and lots of expensive stuff that we don't need!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Lots and lots of expensive stuff that we don't need and can't afford!
MR. FREEMARKET: Lots and lots of expensive stuff that we don't need and can't afford, all of which is cheaply made by Chinese workers who earn a mere pittance!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Lots and lots of expensive stuff that we don't need and can't afford, all of which is cheaply made by Chinese workers who earn a mere pittance, and is then sold by wealthy corporations to fools such as ourselves!
MR. FREEMARKET: It's our duty as brainless consumers!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Brainless consumers who apparently have nothing better to do with our time and money!
(Mr. and Mrs. Freemarket visit a nearby superstore.)
MR. FREEMARKET: Let's buy one of those!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Let's buy two!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Spend without thinking!
MR. FREEMARKET: Spend carelessly!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Spend recklessly!
MR. FREEMARKET: My dear, if we keep spending this way, we'll soon have enough debt to fill a black hole!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Two black holes!
MR. FREEMARKET: We might even have enough debt to fill the entire cosmos!
MRS. FREEMARKET: With enough debt left over to fill another cosmos!
MR. FREEMARKET: Our credit cards will burst into flames from repeated overuse!
MRS. FREEMARKET: A glorious bonfire of unrestrained excess, consuming all that is good and worthy in our souls!
MR. FREEMARKET: Isn't capitalism wonderful?
MRS. FREEMARKET: Yes! Totally, completely wonderful!
MR. FREEMARKET: Millions and millions and millions of people, all spending wildly, with no hope or intention of ever being able to balance their accounts, thereby further enriching their greedy overlords and becoming permanently beholden to their ruthless creditors!
MRS. FREEMARKET: It’s a banker's dream come true!
MR. FREEMARKET: Hooray for the collective irrationality of unsecured credit!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Hooray for the unbridled madness of the capitalist mentality!
MR. FREEMARKET: God bless Adam Smith!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Yes, and God bless Walmart, too!
MR. FREEMARKET: My dear, I propose that we undertake a retail expedition. Let's go shopping and buy lots of stuff!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Yes! Lots and lots of stuff!
MR. FREEMARKET: Lots and lots of expensive stuff that we don't need!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Lots and lots of expensive stuff that we don't need and can't afford!
MR. FREEMARKET: Lots and lots of expensive stuff that we don't need and can't afford, all of which is cheaply made by Chinese workers who earn a mere pittance!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Lots and lots of expensive stuff that we don't need and can't afford, all of which is cheaply made by Chinese workers who earn a mere pittance, and is then sold by wealthy corporations to fools such as ourselves!
MR. FREEMARKET: It's our duty as brainless consumers!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Brainless consumers who apparently have nothing better to do with our time and money!
(Mr. and Mrs. Freemarket visit a nearby superstore.)
MR. FREEMARKET: Let's buy one of those!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Let's buy two!
MR. FREEMARKET: Let's buy a dozen!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Let's buy everything in the store!
MR. FREEMARKET: Yes! Let's buy everything in the store!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Let's buy everything in this store and everything in the store across the street!
MR. FREEMARKET: Yes! Let's buy everything in this store and everything in the store across the street, and then let's buy everything in every store, everywhere!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Yes! Let's buy everything in every store, everywhere!
MR. FREEMARKET: Yes! Let's buy everything in the store!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Let's buy everything in this store and everything in the store across the street!
MR. FREEMARKET: Yes! Let's buy everything in this store and everything in the store across the street, and then let's buy everything in every store, everywhere!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Yes! Let's buy everything in every store, everywhere!
MR. FREEMARKET: Spend without pausing!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Spend without thinking!
MR. FREEMARKET: Spend carelessly!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Spend recklessly!
MR. FREEMARKET: My dear, if we keep spending this way, we'll soon have enough debt to fill a black hole!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Two black holes!
MR. FREEMARKET: We might even have enough debt to fill the entire cosmos!
MRS. FREEMARKET: With enough debt left over to fill another cosmos!
MR. FREEMARKET: Our credit cards will burst into flames from repeated overuse!
MRS. FREEMARKET: A glorious bonfire of unrestrained excess, consuming all that is good and worthy in our souls!
MR. FREEMARKET: Isn't capitalism wonderful?
MRS. FREEMARKET: Yes! Totally, completely wonderful!
MR. FREEMARKET: Millions and millions and millions of people, all spending wildly, with no hope or intention of ever being able to balance their accounts, thereby further enriching their greedy overlords and becoming permanently beholden to their ruthless creditors!
MRS. FREEMARKET: It’s a banker's dream come true!
MR. FREEMARKET: Hooray for the collective irrationality of unsecured credit!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Hooray for the unbridled madness of the capitalist mentality!
MR. FREEMARKET: God bless Adam Smith!
MRS. FREEMARKET: Yes, and God bless Walmart, too!