Perfect People Need Not Apply

The world is filled with many different kinds of people, and I find that, in most situations, I can get along with nearly all of them. If you are short or tall, no problem. If you happen to be fat, or if you happen to be skinny, I hold no objections whatsoever. If you are white, black, brown, red, yellow, orange, blue, green, or purple, you can be my best friend. If you happen to believe in a weird religion that is founded on the pagan worship of small-time actors who made fleeting appearances in unfunny sitcoms during the 1960s, I will gladly take you out for a pricey dinner at the restaurant of your choice. If, however, you are a perfect person, a person who is utterly without any perceivable defects, then I regret to say that you are going to have trouble with me.

Is there anything more thoroughly annoying than a perfect person? Within the sphere of my own experience, there is not. Frankly, I could be a perfect person myself, if I actually wanted to be, but I do not want to be a perfect person, because if I was perfect, then I, too, would be thoroughly annoying, a condition that I have always held to be highly undesirable. Perfect people usually are so involved in being perfect, and in being thoroughly annoying, that they frequently tend to forget how to be human. In other words, they are inclined to lose the common touch. I may not be a perfect person (although, as I have already stated, I am certain that I could be unerringly perfect if I wanted to be), but at least I can say that I am, for the most part, unquestionably human.

In conclusion, I would like to repeat the completely reasonable sentiments that I offered at the beginning of this brief treatise. As an honest citizen, acting with an abundance of good faith, I am fully committed, mentally and spiritually, to an ongoing practice of seeking, promoting, establishing, and maintaining a wide range of worthwhile connections with almost everyone, but perfect people need not apply. Not now, not ever. If my principled stand in regard to perfect people appears to be unduly firm or unreservedly harsh (and I am keenly aware that, to a casual observer, it may have such an appearance), then so be it. Perfect people are quite free to be perfect if they so choose, but I wholeheartedly refuse to encourage them.