Walter Periwinkle and the Impenetrable Mysteries of Physical Existence
Walter Periwinkle was not the smartest person in the world, but he did know a thing or two about quantum physics. Although he was employed, Monday through Friday, as a salesclerk in a store that sold household appliances, in the evenings and on weekends he dedicated himself to solving the impenetrable mysteries of physical existence. He held a firm belief that his hours of hard work would result in a major breakthrough.
After much study and many experiments, and after spending a great deal of his own money, Walter finally succeeded in devising something that was unusual, something with the potential to change the world: a quantum toaster that not only made toast, but also would enable its users to modify the known properties of time and space. Creating the quantum toaster had used up all of his savings, but he firmly believed that it was a worthwhile invention.
"My quantum toaster will undoubtedly be regarded as the greatest wonder of this or any other age," Walter boasted to anyone who would listen. "I am certain to win a Nobel Prize, and I daresay that I will also gather a huge fortune for myself!"
Unfortunately, things did not turn out quite as Walter had hoped. Although his quantum toaster did, indeed, offer its users the opportunity to modify the known properties of time and space, it proved to be a poor means of making toast. It tended to burn every slice of bread that was put into its slot, which caused it to be utterly rejected by the public. People were not interested in being able to modify the known properties of time and space if it meant that their bread would not be correctly toasted.
Walter did not win a Nobel Prize. He did not gather a huge fortune for himself. He did not even gather a small fortune. Instead, he went broke and was forced to accept that his quantum toaster had failed. He was not one to be easily beaten, however, and he quickly returned to solving the mysteries of the universe.
"Perhaps I was on the wrong track with the quantum toaster," he said. "I must think of something else to invent. Maybe a subatomic doorstop would have a better chance of succeeding with the public."
When Walter's subatomic doorstop fared no better than his quantum toaster, he began to wonder if he was wasting his time. He could not understand why people did not want to avail themselves of his inventions. It seemed that the world was happy to stay within the mundane pattern of its daily concerns, and might never be ready for the fruits of his daring intellect.
"I suppose the public could be right," Walter said, with a sigh. "What good is there in trying to solve the impenetrable mysteries of physical existence, if it doesn't help one to make a proper piece of toast?"
After much study and many experiments, and after spending a great deal of his own money, Walter finally succeeded in devising something that was unusual, something with the potential to change the world: a quantum toaster that not only made toast, but also would enable its users to modify the known properties of time and space. Creating the quantum toaster had used up all of his savings, but he firmly believed that it was a worthwhile invention.
"My quantum toaster will undoubtedly be regarded as the greatest wonder of this or any other age," Walter boasted to anyone who would listen. "I am certain to win a Nobel Prize, and I daresay that I will also gather a huge fortune for myself!"
Unfortunately, things did not turn out quite as Walter had hoped. Although his quantum toaster did, indeed, offer its users the opportunity to modify the known properties of time and space, it proved to be a poor means of making toast. It tended to burn every slice of bread that was put into its slot, which caused it to be utterly rejected by the public. People were not interested in being able to modify the known properties of time and space if it meant that their bread would not be correctly toasted.
Walter did not win a Nobel Prize. He did not gather a huge fortune for himself. He did not even gather a small fortune. Instead, he went broke and was forced to accept that his quantum toaster had failed. He was not one to be easily beaten, however, and he quickly returned to solving the mysteries of the universe.
"Perhaps I was on the wrong track with the quantum toaster," he said. "I must think of something else to invent. Maybe a subatomic doorstop would have a better chance of succeeding with the public."
When Walter's subatomic doorstop fared no better than his quantum toaster, he began to wonder if he was wasting his time. He could not understand why people did not want to avail themselves of his inventions. It seemed that the world was happy to stay within the mundane pattern of its daily concerns, and might never be ready for the fruits of his daring intellect.
"I suppose the public could be right," Walter said, with a sigh. "What good is there in trying to solve the impenetrable mysteries of physical existence, if it doesn't help one to make a proper piece of toast?"