Being Wonderful Is a Wonderful Thing

I have never been one to be unduly coy, so please allow me to say quite clearly: I am a wonderful person. Furthermore, I can tell you, from my own lifelong experience of being thoroughly wonderful, that being wonderful, as I am, is a wonderfully wonderful thing. It can be firmly stated that being wonderful is, without a doubt and in every respect, much better than not being wonderful. (Extensive tests have shown this to be true.)

The available ways of being wonderful are both many and varied. It is a solemn task for every person, closely following the inner guidance of their own motives, to find their own wonderful means of fully attaining a full, glorious condition of authentic wonderfulness. In my own case, becoming a wonderful person was something that happened at an early age. I am proud to declare that I have been wonderful since the moment of my birth.

Throughout the course of history, wonderful people have made a beneficial difference in all situations. Being wonderful is, as wonderful people are in the habit of saying, "where it's at." To anyone who currently has the misfortune to not be wonderful, my advice is to make haste and try to become wonderful, as soon as you can! Try and try, with all your might, again and again, and keep in mind that being wonderful is the only way for a person to be. (As a wonderful person myself, I know what I am talking about.)

If you, dear reader, are honestly desirous of being wonderful yourself, then you must be prepared to knuckle down! You must commit your soul to a wholehearted attempt! In the quest to be wonderful, half measures are never sufficient. It is not enough to settle for merely being "OK," or "not too bad," or "pretty good," or even "approximately excellent." Only being a completely wonderful person will do! I promise you, anything less than a state of complete wonderfulness is a waste of time.

Once you have become totally wonderful, you will enter a wonderful world that is filled, from top to bottom, with wall-to-wall wonder! You will soon find that the demanding work of being (and staying) wonderful keeps you busy, twenty-four hours a day. As a wonderful person, you must take care to avoid any activity that might tend to detract from your wonderfulness. Remember, only those who are truly wonderful can understand how exceedingly wonderful it is to be wonderful.