Sopwith Balderdash Attempts to Surmount an Insurmountable Challenge
Everything came easily to Sopwith Balderdash. It always had, even from his earliest days. While other people had to work, and, in many cases, had to mightily strain, to bring their deepest ambitions to fruition, Sopwith never had to try hard at anything. He merely had to idly wave his hand to make things happen.
"It's such a ghastly bore having everything come so easily to one," Sopwith said, at least several times a day. "It takes all the fun out of life. What I need is a challenge."
Fate soon delivered the sort of challenge that Sopwith required, in the appealing form of a beautiful woman. Her name was Flora Twiffler, and she was, without the slightest doubt, everything that any healthy male who was not earnestly resolved to pursuing a monkish life of devout abstinence could desire in a female.
From the first moment that Sopwith set eyes on Flora, in the crowded aisle of a busy supermarket, he was hopelessly besotted by her rare beauty. Then and there, he vowed to himself that, without further delay, he would woo her and win her.
"Truly, she is a flawless dream of feminine perfection," Sopwith declared. "I must make her entirely mine forever. I will not allow anything to stand in my way."
Flora herself, however, was having none of it. When Sopwith eagerly approached her as she was leaving the supermarket and asked her, most courteously, for a date, she replied, in a tone that was unmistakably firm, "No," and casually brushed him aside.
Sopwith was utterly crestfallen at the manner in which he had been snubbed by Flora, and he quickly fell into a abject state of profound disbelief. He was not accustomed to having a direct experience of painful frustration. It seemed that, in this particular instance, something that he desperately wanted was not going to come easily to him.
"Well, I did say that I wanted a challenge," Sopwith admitted to himself. "I must not lose heart. I must not allow myself to be daunted, dismayed, or discouraged. As challenges go, this one certainly gives the appearance of being insurmountable, but I shall, nevertheless, attempt to surmount it."
Sopwith began to make regular visits to the aforementioned supermarket, in the hope of running into Flora again. On each occasion that he saw her, he would, again, eagerly approach her and ask, most courteously, for a date. Flora, in turn, would again reply, in a tone that was unmistakably firm, "No," and casually brush him aside.
After this unhappy pattern had continued for a number of weeks, with Sopwith repeatedly approaching Flora and courteously asking her for a date, and Flora repeatedly offering a firm reply of "No," Sopwith was near the end of his rope. The next time Flora replied, "No," Sopwith responded by asking, "Why?"
"Well, if you must know the truth, I don't like the way that you comb your hair," Flora said. "Unless you change it, I will never consider going out with you."
That was it as far as Sopwith was concerned. As soon as he heard Flora's words, he instantly lost all interest in her. He was not about to change the way that he combed his hair, not for Flora, not for anyone. He decided that he would have to find another insurmountable challenge to surmount.
"It's such a ghastly bore having everything come so easily to one," Sopwith said, at least several times a day. "It takes all the fun out of life. What I need is a challenge."
Fate soon delivered the sort of challenge that Sopwith required, in the appealing form of a beautiful woman. Her name was Flora Twiffler, and she was, without the slightest doubt, everything that any healthy male who was not earnestly resolved to pursuing a monkish life of devout abstinence could desire in a female.
From the first moment that Sopwith set eyes on Flora, in the crowded aisle of a busy supermarket, he was hopelessly besotted by her rare beauty. Then and there, he vowed to himself that, without further delay, he would woo her and win her.
"Truly, she is a flawless dream of feminine perfection," Sopwith declared. "I must make her entirely mine forever. I will not allow anything to stand in my way."
Flora herself, however, was having none of it. When Sopwith eagerly approached her as she was leaving the supermarket and asked her, most courteously, for a date, she replied, in a tone that was unmistakably firm, "No," and casually brushed him aside.
Sopwith was utterly crestfallen at the manner in which he had been snubbed by Flora, and he quickly fell into a abject state of profound disbelief. He was not accustomed to having a direct experience of painful frustration. It seemed that, in this particular instance, something that he desperately wanted was not going to come easily to him.
"Well, I did say that I wanted a challenge," Sopwith admitted to himself. "I must not lose heart. I must not allow myself to be daunted, dismayed, or discouraged. As challenges go, this one certainly gives the appearance of being insurmountable, but I shall, nevertheless, attempt to surmount it."
Sopwith began to make regular visits to the aforementioned supermarket, in the hope of running into Flora again. On each occasion that he saw her, he would, again, eagerly approach her and ask, most courteously, for a date. Flora, in turn, would again reply, in a tone that was unmistakably firm, "No," and casually brush him aside.
After this unhappy pattern had continued for a number of weeks, with Sopwith repeatedly approaching Flora and courteously asking her for a date, and Flora repeatedly offering a firm reply of "No," Sopwith was near the end of his rope. The next time Flora replied, "No," Sopwith responded by asking, "Why?"
"Well, if you must know the truth, I don't like the way that you comb your hair," Flora said. "Unless you change it, I will never consider going out with you."
That was it as far as Sopwith was concerned. As soon as he heard Flora's words, he instantly lost all interest in her. He was not about to change the way that he combed his hair, not for Flora, not for anyone. He decided that he would have to find another insurmountable challenge to surmount.