The Baldfaced Ballyhoo of Boswell B. Boswell
Boswell B. Boswell (whose middle name, as those among you with the sharpest minds are likely to have already surmised, happened to be "Boswell") was, as the old saying goes, a "smart cookie." He was also a person of the widest experience, a person who had, in his time, been nearly everywhere and done nearly everything. In his ongoing desire to establish himself as worthy of being generally referred to as an "eminent figure," a "man of destiny," and, not least, an "all-around swell guy," he had been ceaseless in his activities.
However, Boswell B. Boswell was not as well-known as he would have liked. How could he hope to be acknowledged, in his own lifetime and for hundreds of years thereafter, as an "eminent figure" and a "man of destiny" if no one had ever heard of him? The problem, it seemed, was that no matter how ceaselessly, and actively, Boswell B. Boswell sought to achieve his lofty aim, his actions were for naught if no one took any notice.
"Public relations, that's the big thing nowadays," Boswell concluded, after he had given careful thought to his situation. "I need to be extensively promoted, in the same manner that a new product is promoted. I need to thrust my name forward in a decidedly huge fashion, until it firmly resides at the very forefront of current awareness, and cannot be overlooked or avoided by anyone."
Accordingly, Boswell soon elected to avail himself of the particular services offered by Brazenby and Shoutforth, a company with a proven record of strong results in the lively field of public relations. Their chosen maxim, "With Brazenby and Shoutforth, if it's high-toned PR you want, then we can absolutely assure you that, under generally favorable conditions, it's high-toned PR you'll undoubtedly get," said it all. Boswell, for his part, was willing to take whatever measures might be necessary.
Brazenby and Shoutforth began their process of making Boswell more well-known by putting an appealing photograph of him, along with the words, "Boswell B. Boswell is quite praiseworthy in every way," on dozens of billboards. Those same words and that same photograph were used in advertising that was fervently spread across all channels of public expression. The name of Boswell B. Boswell appeared to have a solid chance of gaining as much esteem as any name in history.
Unfortunately, in spite of the sizable amount of baldfaced ballyhoo that was undertaken on Boswell's behalf by Brazenby and Shoutforth, he and his name remained unknown to the masses. Having fallen short of establishing himself as an "eminent figure" and a "man of destiny," he was forced to accept a lower station in life. He took comfort, however, in the hope that he still might aspire to being an "all-around swell guy."
However, Boswell B. Boswell was not as well-known as he would have liked. How could he hope to be acknowledged, in his own lifetime and for hundreds of years thereafter, as an "eminent figure" and a "man of destiny" if no one had ever heard of him? The problem, it seemed, was that no matter how ceaselessly, and actively, Boswell B. Boswell sought to achieve his lofty aim, his actions were for naught if no one took any notice.
"Public relations, that's the big thing nowadays," Boswell concluded, after he had given careful thought to his situation. "I need to be extensively promoted, in the same manner that a new product is promoted. I need to thrust my name forward in a decidedly huge fashion, until it firmly resides at the very forefront of current awareness, and cannot be overlooked or avoided by anyone."
Accordingly, Boswell soon elected to avail himself of the particular services offered by Brazenby and Shoutforth, a company with a proven record of strong results in the lively field of public relations. Their chosen maxim, "With Brazenby and Shoutforth, if it's high-toned PR you want, then we can absolutely assure you that, under generally favorable conditions, it's high-toned PR you'll undoubtedly get," said it all. Boswell, for his part, was willing to take whatever measures might be necessary.
Brazenby and Shoutforth began their process of making Boswell more well-known by putting an appealing photograph of him, along with the words, "Boswell B. Boswell is quite praiseworthy in every way," on dozens of billboards. Those same words and that same photograph were used in advertising that was fervently spread across all channels of public expression. The name of Boswell B. Boswell appeared to have a solid chance of gaining as much esteem as any name in history.
Unfortunately, in spite of the sizable amount of baldfaced ballyhoo that was undertaken on Boswell's behalf by Brazenby and Shoutforth, he and his name remained unknown to the masses. Having fallen short of establishing himself as an "eminent figure" and a "man of destiny," he was forced to accept a lower station in life. He took comfort, however, in the hope that he still might aspire to being an "all-around swell guy."