The Singular Ability of Newton Milquist

Among the many talents that were possessed by Newton Milquist, perhaps the most impressive was his singular ability to induce a person to speak nothing but the absolute truth, even if the truth spoken was to their own detriment, merely by looking the person squarely in the eye. Although Newton understood that such a powerful ability needed to be used sparingly, and always with the most extreme caution, he was not above using it, every now and then, for the trifling purpose of entertaining himself.

Once, when Newton's daily path happened to cross that of Mrs. Maybelle Grummox, a former acquaintance who had always annoyed him, he could not restrain himself from asking her how she was doing, to which she truthfully replied, "I'm still fat, I'm still loud, and I'm still thoroughly disagreeable in every way, if that's what you mean." Mrs. Grummox appeared to be quite astonished at the unreserved harshness of the words that she had spoken about herself. Newton, struggling to hide his delight at Mrs. Grummox's predicament, chuckled as he took his leave of her.

On another occasion, when Newton was having a conversation with Mr. Arnold Fremkin, his next-door neighbor, he inquired as to the whereabouts of Mr. Fremkin's wife. Mr. Fremkin gave a wicked laugh, slyly answering that his wife was "out of town for the weekend, visiting her abominable mother, which is fine by me, because it gives me a chance to engage in some hot fun with that foxy brunette who lives across the street." As soon as those words came out of Mr. Fremkin's mouth, he turned pale, looking as if he had been stricken ill. Newton merely smiled, while gently raising an eyebrow.

When Newton was approached on the street by Mr. George Dwimple, who was seeking to be elected as mayor of the town in which Newton lived, it was not long before the truth reared its ugly head. After Newton questioned Mr. Dwimple as to the sort of policies that he was likely to pursue if he was elected, Mr. Dwimple heartily responded that it was his decided intention to "lie, cheat, and steal, frequently and shamelessly." Newton, having given due consideration to the matter, chose not to cast his vote for Mr. Dwimple.

It was, perhaps, inevitable that Newton's singular ability would sometimes go against his own interests. In one instance, when he was wooing Miss Thelma Radlinger, he asked her if there was any chance that she might fall in love with him, to which Miss Radlinger instantly replied, with a ruthless tone of savage truthfulness, "No, Newton, I can honestly say, with complete certainty of mind, that there is not the slightest chance of me falling in love with you, not any chance whatsoever, not even if you were the last man on earth and I were the last woman, so please do me a huge favor and get lost."

Newton was deeply cut by Miss Radlinger's sharp words, but he endeavored, as best as he could with his broken heart, to resign himself to the particulars of his painful situation and make a graceful retreat. "It seems," Newton later thought to himself as he languished within the humble confines of his lonely room, "that straightforward expressions of unadorned truth, however commendable they might appear to be when judged in their own right, are not necessarily conducive to the swift progress of a happy romance."