Two Thrifty Brothers

Helding Crumplethorne and his younger brother, Frodley, were known to be somewhat parsimonious. Some people even referred to them as "stingy." They lived together in a small house that had been in their family for five generations. Helding and Frodley were a couple of elderly bachelors, thoroughly set in their excessively provident ways, and they were utterly determined never to spend a single penny unless they judged it to be absolutely necessary, which, of course, they rarely did.

The two brothers chose to make their own clothes, fashioning them mostly from old rags, and drew their daily sustenance from a meager diet of homegrown vegetables (they were especially fond of turnips), cooked in a pot over a fire. Instead of paying a monthly bill for electricity, which they regarded as a needless expense, they relied on light from candles. They did not have a radio or a television. In the evening hours, they entertained themselves by examining their extensive collection of dry leaves. Their life was not easy or comfortable, and it was bereft of fun, but they took great pride in their stern thrift.

They generally kept to themselves, avoiding any dealings with other people as much as they could, which caused them to be objects of wide curiosity and frequently prompted the spread of fanciful rumors (in most cases, no more fanciful than the truth) regarding their singular habits. It was said, for example, that they each had succeeded in saving nearly every bit of pocket money from their childhood days, having deliberately refrained from ever purchasing a toy, a comic book, or even a piece of candy. They were, in short, as tight as tight could be.

Helding and Frodley continued in their particular way of life for many years, with both of them being thrifty to a fault, until one morning at breakfast (which comprised leftover turnips from the evening before), completely out of the blue, Frodley informed his older brother of his intention to go out into the world and become extremely rich. Helding was dismayed, and greatly surprised, at hearing these forthright words from Frodley, who rarely had much of anything to say.

"Why is it that you suddenly want to be rich?" Helding asked.

"Because I am tired of being thrifty," Frodley replied. "I have been practicing thrift since I was born, and, quite frankly, I am weary of it. I want to be rich so that I can spend a lot of money in a reckless manner and live it up. I've been thinking about it for a long time, and I've decided that there must be more to life than merely eating turnips and collecting dry leaves."

"It is clear that you have fallen into a state of utter madness," Helding said. "No one who was in their right mind would dare to say such foolish things. I beseech you, brother, not to do anything rash. You must not abandon our thrifty ways! To do so would be a serious error on your part."

"I think it would be worse if I stay here," Frodley said. "I know that we have always been dedicated to being thrifty, but I'm sick of eating turnips."

"You are choosing the path to ruin," Helding said.

"Maybe so," Frodley said, "but I'll probably have some fun along the way."

Frodley Crumplethorne did go out into the world, and he did become extremely rich. He spent a lot of money in a reckless manner and he lived it up, in keeping with the brazen intention that he had voiced to his brother, but his new life of constant fun soon proved to be shallow and unappealing, and it did not provide him with a reliable condition of lasting happiness. It was, however, far more interesting than eating turnips and collecting dry leaves.