Questions for the Ages
For those readers who are graced with an intellectual disposition, here is a brief sampling of what might be referred to as "questions for the ages." Be forewarned, however, that these particular inquiries are of a distinctly formidable quality, and therefore do not lend themselves to being casually answered.
How can any of us be absolutely certain that we are who we presume ourselves to be?
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If the CEOs of huge corporations gave up the practice of making themselves wealthy by ruthlessly exploiting the foolishness of the public, what would they do for fun?
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What is the best approach to the challenge of talking a ravenous lion out of having you for dinner?
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If every clock ran fast, would there be more hours in the day, or fewer?
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How common is it to have neighbors who are in the habit of baying at the moon?
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Is it undeniably true that if one is able to remain utterly still for the duration of one's life, nothing will happen?
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If an elephant pretended to be a mouse, would it be in danger of being caught in a mousetrap?
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When one is provided with a choice between unavoidable doom or inevitable destruction, which should one choose?
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If one has a second cousin who formerly worked as an undercover chimpanzee for the FBI, is it best to keep that information to oneself?
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Has anyone ever determined whether there is an actual need for politics?
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What is the most advisable opinion to hold in regard to the casual use of nuclear weapons in a domestic setting?
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If everyone in the world were to sneeze at the same moment, would the supply of available handkerchiefs be sufficient?
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Why is the sound of music more pleasing to human ears than the sound of algebra?
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If gumdrops were used instead of money as a mode of finance, would banks be filled with candy instead of cash?
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What is the most efficient way to do nothing?
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Is there any experience worse than having to carry a drunken walrus on one's back?
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Has there ever been an occasion, in all of known history, when even a single word of pure truth was spoken by the leader of any government?
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If, as Shakespeare once expressed, "all the world's a stage," then which of us are actors and which of us are merely stagehands?
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How did people waste countless hours of their lives before the smartphone was invented?
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Is there any doubt that, however one looks at it, a banana will never be more, or less, than a banana?
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When the meaning of everything is revealed at last, will it be disappointing?
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If there is life on other planets, will there also be sitcoms, bowling alleys, and fast food?
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Is believing everything that you hear better than hearing everything that you believe?
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Why is a duck holding an umbrella usually more appealing than a hippopotamus holding a flugelhorn?
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If children took over, would grownups be forced to do unpleasant things, such as cleaning up their rooms, before they could watch television?
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What is the proper manner of extending a greeting to a lawyer who is disguised as an armchair?
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Is there a greater cause of awe and wonder, within the entirety of human experience, than the total perfection of a fedora that is worn stylishly and tilted at a smart angle?
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Why do people ardently seek to obtain platinum, gold, and silver, when everyone knows that chocolate is much tastier?
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If God is infinitely powerful, does it mean that He never loses an argument with his wife?
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How surprising would it be if all the dogs in a particular neighborhood in Dirtpile, Arkansas, were to stage a performance of the opera, "Rigoletto," by Giuseppe Verdi?
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If a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, how much would three birds be worth?
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How many business executives, all of them straining their feeble brains together in a united attempt to think, are needed to bring forth a single thought?
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If the Earth was ever blasted to bits by a runaway asteroid, would we still have to pay taxes?
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What is the likelihood that all the redheaded people in Idaho are engaged in an ongoing conspiracy against the rest of us?
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How much time is needed to teach a piece of string how to dance?
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When every stockbroker has been hunted down and put into a cage, will mankind finally be safe?
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If Elvis Presley had been known to audiences as "Durward" instead of "Elvis," would he still have achieved fame and fortune as the "King of Rock 'n' Roll"?
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What is the difference, both in essence of intent and in effectiveness as a means of deception, between a half-truth and a partial falsehood?
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If forward is to backward as up is to down, where does that leave sideways?
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When one is walking across the hot expanse of the Sahara, is it considered necessary to bring a pair of snowshoes?
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If every person kept a raw potato balanced on their head at least one day a week, would it bring us closer to worldwide peace?
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Why is it that going from riches to poverty tends to be much easier than going from poverty to riches?
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If someone was born knowing everything there is to know, would they still be required to attend school?
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Is it always the case that a hamster makes a better pet than a cucumber?
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What would we do if the current stock of heedless errors ever ran short?
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If all the numbers in the cosmos, from zero to infinity, were put together one after the other, would they all add up?
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When all the oceans have gone completely dry, will whales have to change their lifestyle and move into condominiums?
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What are the chances that what we think of as "civilization" is merely a laughable mistake that somehow has been prolonged for sixty centuries?
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If rich people are allowed to grasp everything and keep it all for themselves, will they finally overdo it and burst into flames as a result of having too much?
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Has anyone ever succeeded in explaining the fundamental principles of Aristotelian philosophy to a bellicose aardvark?